Friday, August 19, 2011
The name of the game is equal rights... for who though?
Sadly, the Supreme Court of Canada seems to think that both parents should have equal rights. Taking no consideration what is best for the children. In my case I have heard many times { I don't understand, I must be missing something " And I'd have to agree. From day to day, depending on the judge you will undoubtadly receive a completely different ruling. Most are so convoluted that even the lawyers have a hard time understanding them. And the lawyers are the ones who write them! A little unknown fact is that in Supreme Court, the ruling is made by the judge and the lawyers write up the order based on their interpretation of the ruling. Then they go back and forth from lawyer to lawyer and try to come up with something they both agree they heard. Then its filed, and awaits the judges signature and stamp on it to make it official. This process alone can take weeks if not months. So if your hoping for some kind of resolution by going to court, don't bother !
The court process is excruciating and terrifying. Ultimately relaying on a sane and unbiased judge to make a sound and logical ruling... hahaha ! That's laughable. Having said that, the last judge I appeared in front of begging for help, namely, child support, was actually very witty and did his best to make a good ruling. However, the 1 out of 10 doesn't give me faith in our system. Nor did even he, understand how the system works from a below poverty mother of three... fleeing woman. Starting over with nothing but the clothes on our backs and a wellfare check in hand. Well actually the measly wellfare check was spent before it got to my hand. While my husband drives around in his new truck, living in our house that we own together with another woman and her kids, and does every single thing within the grey area to push our trial date and any kind of resolution. Trying his best to starve me out while I fight to keep my kids and keep a roof over our heads and food in their tummy's.Its going to be an even longer road then I ever anticipated.
My lawyer says I must be perfect. That I must look, sound, and perceive to be perfect. Though it really doesn't matter what he does because ultimately the courts look at the mother more. They give equal rights to the father, however he is just a father. I mean hes doing the best he can folks ! Even if he makes Kraft dinner every night and doesn't make them brush their teeth once in three days. The standards for a mother are much higher. And I find this extremely bias ! ...
You cant expect a man to be a perfect parent. That's a woman's job ! Well then... give us some credit ! This is my sarcasm talking, and I am well aware of the fact that their are wonderful dedicated fathers out there. However, we as mothers have been creating these lives, giving birth to them, breastfeeding them, loving and nurturing them all their lives. Only to have them ripped away like a bandaid. 20 years ago, we all heard stories about the woman taking the man for everything he ever had and everything he ever will have until death. That she always got sole custody and the man got the "shaft" Well , I'm here to enlighten you, the pendulum has swung! And unfortunately all the way to the other side !
The court process is excruciating and terrifying. Ultimately relaying on a sane and unbiased judge to make a sound and logical ruling... hahaha ! That's laughable. Having said that, the last judge I appeared in front of begging for help, namely, child support, was actually very witty and did his best to make a good ruling. However, the 1 out of 10 doesn't give me faith in our system. Nor did even he, understand how the system works from a below poverty mother of three... fleeing woman. Starting over with nothing but the clothes on our backs and a wellfare check in hand. Well actually the measly wellfare check was spent before it got to my hand. While my husband drives around in his new truck, living in our house that we own together with another woman and her kids, and does every single thing within the grey area to push our trial date and any kind of resolution. Trying his best to starve me out while I fight to keep my kids and keep a roof over our heads and food in their tummy's.Its going to be an even longer road then I ever anticipated.
My lawyer says I must be perfect. That I must look, sound, and perceive to be perfect. Though it really doesn't matter what he does because ultimately the courts look at the mother more. They give equal rights to the father, however he is just a father. I mean hes doing the best he can folks ! Even if he makes Kraft dinner every night and doesn't make them brush their teeth once in three days. The standards for a mother are much higher. And I find this extremely bias ! ...
You cant expect a man to be a perfect parent. That's a woman's job ! Well then... give us some credit ! This is my sarcasm talking, and I am well aware of the fact that their are wonderful dedicated fathers out there. However, we as mothers have been creating these lives, giving birth to them, breastfeeding them, loving and nurturing them all their lives. Only to have them ripped away like a bandaid. 20 years ago, we all heard stories about the woman taking the man for everything he ever had and everything he ever will have until death. That she always got sole custody and the man got the "shaft" Well , I'm here to enlighten you, the pendulum has swung! And unfortunately all the way to the other side !
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